Noshir and Roshan Celebrate their 60th Anniversary, 27 March 2005

by Hootoksi Tyabji

It all began, as these things normally do, around a table where a good meal had been served and relished. My parents asked if I would take over organizing their big day. Dad said "It has always been my dream to celebrate with my family around me", and Ma wanted to invite all her friends to a big bash in KL. Mum's wish was granted, Dad's almost. We managed to get the immediate family here with the exception of our middle son Farhad, his daughter Azura, and my brother's son. Jon.

And so began the preparations for the big bash! First, the design and printing of an invitation, the hunt for a venue, the planning of the menu, the surprise act and the perfect music, the secret visit of Aunty Naju, Lale, Jim and Sim from Mumbai, and the logistics of where everyone would stay, be fed and watered.

We had just moved into our new house, and consequently were in an entirely new neighborhood. Driving in KL was a big challenge (still is) for me and the task ahead seemed daunting, but with the terrific support and help from Robert and Adil, things moved along apace and they took over all the technical details and made them workable and doable for me.

Adil, the first family member to arrive, was an invaluable help with the move. Michel and Rosa from Seattle came next, and we grabbed the opportunity of being together and squeezed in a glorious week's holiday. We went to the East coast, to a little paradise island called Perhentian Kecil where we stayed at an exquisite, isolated spot on the beach. We lazed, chatted, snorkeled, ate, drank and relaxed totally, so at the end of it, we were more than ready to enjoy the buzz of the next 10 days!

While we were at the beach, my older sister Shehernavaz arrived from Austin Texas, and my brother Kershasp, his wife Judy and their daughter Sherie from Cleveland, Ohio. All of them stayed with Ma and Pa.

The day after our return, Rob's mum (93) arrived from Sydney followed by Pa's older sister Naju (86), cousin Lale, and her children Jim (18) and Sim (14) from Mumbai. They were my big secret and a gift to our parents!

Our house was filled to capacity, we slept 10 and this was the perfect opportunity to test all systems, especially the plumbing, which I am pleased to report worked perfectly.

Mum and Aunty Naju shared a room and kept reporting at breakfast that things went missing, but by dinner time they had miraculously appeared again! All except that one nightdress, which we all hunted for and never found till much after everyone had left, when it was discovered in the garden drain. Naju Aunty must have hung it on her balcony and the wind did the rest!

Robert and I enjoyed having so many of our loved ones with us in our new home and for the most part we managed to get folks into cars and onwards on time! We did have the odd stragglers and those that occasionally needed severe warnings and proddings but for the most part it was very harmonious.

On the 25th afternoon we had a Jashan ceremony (A Parsi Blessing) performed by Pa who was assisted by his good friend Sam Tata. We decided to present our "surprise" before it began and Pa's joy at seeing his sister, Lale, Jim and Sim manifested itself in tears while Ma kept shouting Naju Pundole! Naju Pundole! till someone reminded her that we all knew the name. After the prayers, we had a delicious traditional Parsi dinner cooked by our Gloria, Ma's Filipina maid.

On the 26th, Kershasp and Shehernavaz came over to our place and the three of us shut ourselves in the study to work on "The Show" I had planned for the 27th.

Thanks to digital technology and the generosity of relatives overseas, I had managed to get old photographs and messages from those unable to travel here. These were read out, and while we talked about how Ma and Pa met and married, and about their lives together, we flashed photographs on a large screen.

The year was 1944, Pa was a Boy Scout organizing a fund raising event for the war effort. Ma, already known as the Nightingale of Bombay, was invited to sing and the moment she did, Pa fell in love with her and they started seeing each other secretly.

Kershasp managed to get an old recording of Ma singing "Because" and we played it to the delight of family and friends, most of who had no idea of Ma's beautiful singing voice. A few months later, Pa proposed and Ma accepted, but she had to tell her parents about this new development in her life and the ensuing scene is an integral part of our family history. So, we decided to act it out in Gujarati with Kershasp translating when we gave him the chance! Shehernavaz played the part of Ma and I did Grandma.

Our Nani Tehmina was a formidable lady and Ma was intimidated and often scared to talk to her. We believe this is somewhat how the conversation went:

Tehmina: Yes, Roshan, have you something to say?

Roshan: Nothing.

Tehmina: Then why are you hanging around...

Roshan: Just like that

10 MINUTES LATER

Tehmina: Still around, what is it? You better find your tongue quickly!

Roshan: I want to marry, I'm in love

Tehmina: With whom?

Roshan: With a boy.

Tehmina: Yes, yes, what is his name

Roshan: Noshir

Tehmina: Noshir who?

Roshan: I don't know

Tehmina: Does he work?

Roshan: Yes

Tehmina: What does he do?

Roshan: I don't know

Tehmina: How much does he earn?

Roshan: I don't know

Tehmina: His parents, what do they do?

\r\nRoshan: I don't know

Tehmina: Brothers and sisters?

Roshan: I don't know

Tehmina: I don't know, I don't know and you're set to marry him! Do you have a photo of him?

Roshan: Yes, yes I do, here it is.

Ma promptly produced a photo of Papa when he was two years old sitting on a pony in Matheran. We managed to find a copy of this which we projected at this point in our skit. We left out the subsequent drama that must have taken place!

We also spoke of Pa being the founder of the Lions movement in India, his tremendous achievements and personal growth and the spirit of philanthropy, caring and love that our parents manifested in our home which we grew up with.

Shehernavaz, Kershasp and I had a lot of fun rehearsing and were so happy and proud to be able to share the illustrious lives of our loving parents with family and friends.

On the 27th morning, THE DAY, we zoomed over to Ma's, picking up the garlands on the way for the traditional Parsi sagan (blessing) to be performed by Aunty Naju. The house was filled with large bouquets and baskets of the most exquisite flowers, gifts of love from friends. Ma and Pa blessed each of us in turn and gave us a piece of jewelry and we made our little offerings to them. Michel presented his grandparents with a wonderful CD of his thoughts and feelings and he also played the mbira (African finger piano) while he prayed Ashem Vohu which is the first prayer a Zoroastrian child learns. This had been taught to him by his grandfather when he was a little boy in Somalia. The memories came flooding and the tears flowed!

After the sagan, everyone went home to rest while Adil and I went to the venue to put our finishing touches on things. Adil, just home from University in Milan with a Masters in Design, put his education to work and converted the venue, the Lake Club Orchid Room, into a flower wonderland for the evening celebration. A large black and white blowup of Ma and Pa taken on their engagement was set up on the stage as the focal point.

Our guests arrived at 7 pm and we were fortunate to be able to find and hire a pianist who played old time favorites till 8.30 when we invited people to sit down while we put on The Show. This was followed by dinner. We had a starter, soup, main course and dessert. Between courses, there was a short speech of appreciation for the voluntary work that Ma has done for the past 30 years at the Bukit Nanas Home for Handicapped. It was delivered by the Principal, Sr. Stephanie, and followed by a song specially composed and sung by Phil Captain.

Dad gave a superb vote of thanks and finally the grandkids, Jim and Sim wearing sombreros (don't ask me why!) blowing trumpets and throwing confetti in the air, wheeled out a 12 Kg cake which Ma and Pa cut to cheers from relatives and friends.

The evening ended with specially recorded music from the 40's and 50's and a good time was had by all. It was certainly a memorable time and one that will be remembered by all of us for some time to come!

Final pic: L to R Top row-- Robert, Hootoksi, Lale, Kershasp, Judy, Shehernavaz. Middle row--, Maki, Noshir, Roshan, Alice. Third row-- Simonil, Rosa, Michel, Adil, Sheherezade.

Bottom -- Jim Sarbh